As you may have noticed it's been ages since I posted anything here. The reason is that I'm completely out of ideas. Ideas which are suitable for this blog as it has come to be. Unfortunately this is a young blog and a certain amount is expected from it before I can relax and write whatever I want without feeling the need to be funny all the time. That time I feel has not yet come and so I'll continue to pidgeonhole myself into being a vaguely angry person commenting on mundane issues.
And so I'll have a whinge about place names that annoy me to varying degrees. This is only because I have absolutely nothing else to say. I told people I wouldn't bother with this but I'm desperate.
The town Dumbarton in the west of Scotland was the administrative centre for the old county of Dunbartonshire, which later became East and West Dunbartonshire. What's the problem with that? Well, it seems fine until you notice that it's DuMbarton and DuNbartonshire. Why? I don't know, but in my very mild obsession for order it seems wrong that the shire is spelt with an N and the town with an M. It just seems like a mistake. I don't know why they've done this to me.
I also hate that Northampton is the centre of Northamptonshire, but Southampton isn't the centre of Southamptonshire. No, that place doesn't exist; instead it's just Hampshire. Nobody else cares about things like this but it annoys me because its uneven, or asymmetrical, or whatever the precise term for this is. They should rename Hampshire Southamptonshire. If Northamptonshire didn't exist as a county, I probably wouldn't be bothered.
Renfrewshire and East Renfrewshire is a pair I hate as well. Why the hell can't it be East and West Renfrewshire. The precedent for that has been set by East and West Dunbartonshire (grr), and similarly North and South Lanarkshire, and East, Mid and West Lothian. Orderly groupings as you have seen. Renfrewshire and then East Renfrewshire just annoys me, much like Virginia and West Virginia, although they are states with an extensive history and not arbitrary local council divisions that can be changed at a whim, and thus they are forgiven. Also forgiven are the Ayrshires, which have all but a West Ayshire, since that would have to be in the Irish Sea somewhere.
Another one which I find annoying but no one else will are the northern English counties. There's Cumbria, formerly known as Cumberland, and Northumberland. The thing that winds me up is that fact that when the divisions changed they renamed Cumberland Cumbria, thus removing the order established by having two 'umberland counties. They should change it back to Cumberland, or rename Northumberland Northumbria, like the old kingdom was called.
North Africa and South Africa is a bad case of chaotic place naming. South Africa is a country, in southern Africa which is a geographic region. Thus southern Africa's counterpart should be northern Africa. Instead people refer to northern Africa usually as North Africa. It's just wrong. If anything should be North Africa it should be the name of some non-existent country in northern Africa to keep the balance right. To further complicate issues, the America's are always known as North and South, which should be wrong because of South Africa. I'd be tempted to say that the name of South Africa is causing all the problems here, but since my flatmate is South African and no doubt reading this, I'll refrain from suggesting the country come up with something more original as a name.
Half of these are fairly justified, and others are completely frivolous. To add one last one, an appallingly ridiculous one, I'll talk about East Anglia. Apart from the fact I'd like a West Anglia, I wish Suffolk would have a town called Surwich. This is because Norfolk has a town called Norwich. The north and south balance would be perfect. Instead we get crappy Ipswich.
I am truly sorry for the quality of this output and if it hasn't killed my blog forever, it will always be remembered as a dark moment born of a complete lack of inspiration.
Until next time, if there is one.
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