Hairstressing

Yes, as the awful pun of the title suggests, today's target is hairdressing. As some of you are aware, and others have probably now figured out, I have had a seriously drastic haircut, going from long flowing Neil Oliveresque locks to a military buzz of sorts, something I haven't had in a few years.

It isn't all bad. I enjoy the ease of styling this haircut affords me, and people have reacted surprisingly positively to it for the most part. In a matter of months it'll probably grow to the length I was originally hoping for when I decided to cut it in the first place.

Basically I went and gave an outline of what I wanted, which was rougly two and a half to three inches off my long hair, and enough to cover my forehead again. In someways the result was close, but it was too thick and the left side was wonky. So, I later went to another place to get some of these faults fixed. It wasn't going to be perfect but I thought it would improve on the look. Unfortunately, it only became worse, to the point at which I felt I couldn't go outside with it, so I decided just to cut it off using my hair clipper/beard trimmer device thingy. I now have an even inch of hair all round to start afresh with. By the end of summer it'll be the length I could have had in half an hour.

My story aside, it's now time to moan about haircuts in general. One thing I've noticed is that they don't interpret inches well. Don't give them inches because that's too complex apparently, they'll ignore that and give you what ever vague idea they have of how short they think you mean. Maybe then, you could try telling them what the shape of it is in your head without being too precise. Big mistake again. You've now given them free reign to do whatever the hell they want with it. I guarantee it will not even resemble anything you had in your head. The final option is of course to give them a picture to work with, say if you want to copy someone's style or go back to one you had before. I'm sad to say I tried this once and it still didn't turn out right.

That said, you can still hope for something quite nice. It's never going to be what you want, but you may surprised at the new style you walk away with, or it may grow on you (pun intended). However there are generally two obstacles which usually trash this notion. The first is when they give you no layers at all, and you end up with a helmet head haircut. Often they'll cut off the required length at the back and sides where its easiest, but not cut the same length off the top. The result is a heavy haircut which always fails to stay in a decent position. The second obstacle is when they do give you layers. Expect from this scenario a hacked up, sticky up, uneven, wispy travesty of a cut. When I said earlier I had two attempts at getting my hair right, you've probably figured out that the first time resulted in hair disaster number one there, and the second attempt resulted in hair disaster number two.

Thus the benefits of buzzing it and starting again become apparent. I'll grow it evenly to the right length, and ask only for the most conservative of trims to keep it at the same length. Hopefully I can then go to the same place again and again and ask for the "usual" once I get to know the barber or hairdresser.